The Gravities of Terrestrial Life June 17, 2009
Posted by imfb in Deep Thoughts, Deployment, Military Life.trackback
I’ve hit a wall on this deployment, and I don’t seem to be the only one. People seem drained, fuses are a little shorter, simple decisions involve half an hour of time wasted, intermixed with some yelling for good measure.
You get to a point, with just over a month until you’ll be home, and you’re no longer quite so fixated at the task at hand. The job isn’t quite as exciting and new, and many of the problems have come up before. You feel like you’re walking through the motions, answering this question, firing off this email, making sure this project doesn’t get messed up. I wrote about how every day here feels like Groundhog Day, and it’s remarkably true.
Sadly, this is also the time that the little things begin to go wrong onboard. The little details that provide comfort when you’re far from home. Mail hasn’t been delivered in nearly 3 weeks, and won’t be for probably another week. We’ve run out of Diet Pepsi, Cheese, and Peanut Butter (unless you’re a senior officer, which I am not), those little comfort items that make it easier to be away.
I’m drained. We’ve been at this for too long a stretch without a break, and I’m ready to go home. Yet home, however fanciful a concept, is not without its issues now either. Things have been rough on the relationship, and instead of returning home to a marriage I might return to nothing. The deployment schedule I’m on has caused big issues, and I’m unsure as to what the future will bring.
So for now I sit out here, far from home wishing I were somewhere else. Soon we’ll be off to a new place, bringing me a little closer to all the things I’m unsure of, still wishing I was off on another adventure.
We’re done with the most recent country project though, and off to the next. I hope that will shake things up. At the very least we’ll be underway, which always lifts my spirits.
wait, whoa, what? did you just slip it in there that you got married?!? or did you just mean you’ll either be coming back to a relationship headed toward marriage or the opposite?
and Sr. officers get PB but no one else? that’s crazy. i think you may need to hookup with a Sr officer… i’m not kidding. i’d totally whore myself out for peanut butter right now!
sucks about the repetitve feelings of each day, but before you know it you’ll be home. and you’ll miss the seas… maybe?
I’d totally mail you some PB if you were getting mail.
Don’t forget to breathe. No use stressing about what will come when there isn’t much you can do about it at this particular moment. I’ll be thinking of you!
well YAY! congrats on the engagement! once you said that i feel like maybe i already knew that, or i didn’t, who knows. you were gone so long : )
anyway, congrats again!
oh man, now i’ve got all KINDS of ideas for boxes to the high seas : ) Hurry back.
And hang in there. It may be that things are tightly wound now, but once things start to level out, once that tension eases as you head back to shore, you may see a real ripple effect. That’s my hope, anyway.